Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
