dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
