She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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