Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize