I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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