At least make sure they are 18
Why
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
