During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
