i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
BRING THE BAGELS
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
