probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
