I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
