can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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