He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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