she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
