I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
