If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
