Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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