there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I need to calm my uterus...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
