my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
