so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
