Soap is not a condiment
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
