my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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