I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
