i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He kissed a someone with a penis
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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