Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
