you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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