just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
