you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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