Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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