I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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