I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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