she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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