So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
