I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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