I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
