Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
