Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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