There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
