and you said cock pushups were impossible
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
