I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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