we're blogging at a bar
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
