My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
