I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Enjoy the penises
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
