Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
