the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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