Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
