guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
