I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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