I'm gonna have a badass scar
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize