My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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