I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
