in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
