so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
