Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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