too bad you live with your parents still
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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