no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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