But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
