I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think people are normalizing furries
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
