how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
