my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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