Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
