He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i barfeds in our rink
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
