We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
